Friday, August 26, 2011

Bea Peed on New Jersey

This is the first mobile blog - being written at 75mph down I80 as we run away from the hurricane. Don't worry - I may be driving but Sara is the one typing. [Hi!]

I was supposed to have shows in New York tonight, Hoboken tomorrow, and New Haven Sunday. Several thousand dollars of cancellations later, we were told we live in an evacuation zone. While deciding if we should get the hell out of Dodge, or just go two blocks down out of the evacuation zone (where Jacob and Jenna had graciously invited us for a weekend of Bea vs. Leah goodness), I was offered a gig in Alfred, NY. Alfred is so far inland, it might not even rain this weekend.

Ever since we adopted Bea, I've had a fantasy of taking her on the road with me as a mascot. This weekend proved the perfect opportunity. We needed to leave New York anyway, so we decided to make a weekend out of it, beat the traffic, and leave tonight.

As far as we know, Bea has only been to Puerto Rico and New York City (which is pretty much the same thing). The route from NYC to Alfred involves cutting through New Jersey. So we stopped at a rest stop and gave Bea her first out of state experience. As so many Real Housewives and Jersey Shore cast members have done in the past, Bea promptly peed on New Jersey. She may have been marking - but there are so many smells here, she wouldn't begin to know which one to cover up. And as we once again hurdle through the garden state, Bea is comfortable in the back of my once spotless Corolla.

I've begun road trips more than a thousand times over the last 8 years. This is the first one where I had to pack for someone else. Okay, where Sara had to pack. But I still had to consider. The college was nice enough to let me choose my own hotel, so we found one that was dog friendly. We took Bea's crate, and Sara packed a bag with food, treats, food bowls, bones, and toys. When they say a dog is a gateway to a baby, this is what they mean.

We didn't bring all of Bea's toys, just Hank Poseidon and Columbia Jones. The dastardly Starfish Incognito stayed back at the apartment, distracted by the presence of a wily Poops McGee. If the hurricane ends up smashing all of our windows, we will not mourn the loss of the evil Starfish Incognito. He deserves whatever he gets. Incidentally, Columbia Jones could use a vacation after Bea dumped him in her water bowl. His hair dried spiky, and now he kind of looks like a monkey. We're convinced Starfish Incognito was behind the whole thing.

In reality Bea is laying down in her bed in the backseat in the position we call "The Bagel." She seems happy to take a drive on a nice night. And even happier to know there are only 23 miles left of New Jersey. Between The Real Housewives and Jersey Shore, this state doesn't need one more bitch.

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