Celebrating Bea Arthur's Puerto Rican Heritage

I had no idea that this morning I'd be taking my dog to the Puerto Rican Day Parade.

Bea is originally from Puerto Rico. But now like most Puerto Ricans, she lives in New York. And people are constantly asking me stupid questions about it.

"Can she speak Spanish?"

"Sure. Bea, what's the Spanish word for red?"

"Ruff!"

"Sorry. Her accent is castellano."

The plan was for Sara to work out, and then I'd meet her with Bea and go to Petco. The plan was also to make sure to walk Bea just before we got to Petco to eliminate any chance of elimination. But 5th Avenue had other ideas.

I realized what was going on after I got stuck in traffic on Madison and 51st, and dozens of people walked in front of me wearing Puerto Rican flags. The Puerto Rican Day Parade is known in New York City as a day when it's best to stay home. Like the St Patty's Day Parade, Halloween, and the New York Marathon, traffic is absolutely nuts and the subways are no better.

But there I was, accidentally taking my Puerto Rican dog to the parade. I wonder if anyone would have even believed me.

"I know I'm really white, but my dog is a very proud Puerto Rican. No, I'm not mocking you, she's really Puerto Rican. Okay, I'll go now."

The police wouldn't even let me try though - when I wanted to turn on 57th to pick Sara up, the cops told me to go to 58th. At 58th, they told me to go to 56th. At 56th, they told me to go to 42nd. By then I was pissed, and I told a cop where she could go. Not quite, but I had a heated exchange with her - and Bea amazingly joined in.

Bea NEVER barks. Except for the occasional quick snip at a delivery man and the silly bitches in the dog park, we haven't heard her bark at all. But when the cop tried to stop her from participating in the Puerto Rican Day Parade, Bea wasn't having it. Good for you Bea Arthur - this is your day, and you should be able to celebrate your Puerto Rican heritage. Just don't pee in Petco again.

By the way, we bought Bea a new bed. And if this video is any indication, she loves it.

Viva Puerto Rico!