Friday, June 10, 2011

My Wife Got Me a Chick Magnet

I started the day sitting outside a gynecologist's office with an adorable dog. I felt one step away from driving an ice cream truck to the set of Toddlers in Tiara's.

The strangest part? This was all my wife's idea.

Over the week, I've realized how much women love my dog. Of course they do - she's adorable. She has big sad eyes, she's the size of a puppy, and she's got a butt wiggle that would make most strippers jealous. And she's so friendly and laid back towards humans, anyone can pet her. Bea Arthur attracting this many women doesn't do much for the rumors of her being a lesbian.

Who wouldn't love this dog?

While sitting on a stoop waiting for my wife a few days ago, one woman actually came out of the restaurant where she was eating just to pet Bea. Hopefully she washed her hands when she went back in. Even the cutest dog is still a dog.

My wife's office lets people bring dogs in on Fridays, so we decided I'd come in with her today and bring Bea. It was a great idea, if the idea was to halt all productivity. Between people asking us about Bea and us keeping track of her, I had just enough time to write a blog and go home. Not bad for a 7 hour day.

Bea, ready to take the subway.

The reason the day was only 7 hours is because the first hour was spent outside of a doctor's office. I didn't think much of it - Sara had a checkup before work, so I went with her and hung with Bea outside. It wasn't until the 5th or 6th attractive woman passed by us and smiled that I realized, "holy shit - I brought an adorable dog to a gynecologist's office." Were I single, this would be both the skeeziest and most brilliant thing I've ever done.

There's a certain irony that my wife is responsible for giving me a chick magnet. And I feel very stupid that I never liked dogs when I was single. If people didn't have enough reasons to rescue adorable dogs, well, single guys, here's one more.

The good news is Sara and I are both so madly in love that the occasional smile and petting from an attractive stranger doesnt bother her. As long as they're only petting the dog.

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